Sitting down to write up an update on the house and warming center, fingers on keypad I realize I have no idea what I want to say. Snippits of conversations, numbers and facts dart across my mind, but no unifying theme, nothing that ties these snippets and numbers into a story.
* 166 people at the warming center one day, January averages steadily above 100
* Busy house, overnight guests every night, the challenge of getting folks out the door and out in the AM
* Polar vortex, cold. cold. cold.
* Move to February hosts
* “I come to Peace House, Ypsi and see yoga mats and aromatherapy and feel relieved to know someone understands just because we are homeless doesn’t mean we don’t like nice things”
* “Bum Bed and Breakfast”
* “do you have hand warmers?”
Instead of a paragraphs flowing from my fingertips, tears flow from my eyes. So much need. So much pain So much to say and so exhausted….
January was a brutal month.
It always is.
Our numbers at the day shelter skyrocket from 50-70 to over 100. Lots of new people, unaccustomed to being in community struggle with the ideas of holding one another accountable and how to contribute to keeping things running smoothly. December warming center hosts are on the outskirts of town and require a bus trip to get to. Those who come NEED the day shelter, and having spent a coveted bus token to get there, hunker in for the day getting to know the other guests and the routine of the day. With a move to downtown locations folks can easily walk over and tend to bounce in and out throughout out the day. Coming in to warm up, grab a bite to eat and a hot drink then head back out to run errands, sell GroundCover, apply for jobs etc. It is great for many, the down side being that those with a substance use disorder have an easier time slipping out to engage with their drug of choice before coming back. For “staff” and volunteers this means keeping a delicate balance of not kicking people out who are able to be behaviorally appropriate, but watching closely for those “on the edge” situations.
It’s exhausting.
It also saves lives.
Peace house was also busy this month, guests every night and folks we haven’t seen for months popping back up needing a warm place to lay their head, some propane for their tent, food to sustain their body, and a listening ear to sustain their soul.
Donations from our “free store” poured out…. clothes, blankets, small household goods, and food both from our pantry and meals “to go” picked up or delivered. Providing hospitality at the house… ensuring folks had clean sheets to sleep on, meals to eat, a clean and restful place to be and getting guests up and out the door in the AM was an exhausting challenge, especially after coming home from the warming center where the well of need is so deep.
January also always seems to bring an unusual high number of friends in the hospitals and jails. Weekly jail visits and several trips to the ER took a lot of time and emotional energy. All of this resulting in my usual January illness.
It’s hard sometimes to find my usual optimism in the face of it all. I hear the words of Catholic Worker co-founder Dorothy Day echo in my head “Do what comes to hand.” “Well, Dorothy”, I hear myself answer with a inner voice full of snark, “that’s a lovely thought. But so fucking much comes to hand. Got any words of advice for that? “
As I wonder what ties all these random thoughts together I am reminded of some other words. An overheard conversation. One of our frequent guests was telling a new guest (a friend of his) about the house. “You get bed space and some privacy. Sheri will cook for us, and they have fresh ground coffee. Like she will grind the beans in the morning. It is the best coffee you will have. But, here is the thing, this place is really special to me. Don’t mess things up. This is where I go when I really need a place. You have to treat it with respect.” He was so serious and so passionate about his need for Peace House, it was humbling.
Later the friend loving referred to us as “The Bum’s Bed and Breakfast.”
I like this. It strikes me that each of the houses of hospitality associated with MISSION fills a unique role. Certainly, there is overlap and some things we all do. Mercy House, Hill House and Peace House, Ypsi all offer our friends the space to shower, do laundry and get a bite to eat. We all have donation areas to try to get folks the things they need, and the chance to get in from the elements. But we each have our own niche as well.
Hill House offers weather amnesty when the temp dips below freezing. The community that forms out there during this season is wonderful and cares for one another. Mercy House, located just a block from Delonis, is always busy with a Saturday brunch feeding the masses and lots of overnight guests many of whom have on-doing medical needs. Peace House, Ypsi certainly does do some emergency overnights. We do have the occasional knock on the door from someone with a hand drawn map from an agency or friend. We open up to those who have been trespassed from elsewhere on those nights too bitter (or wet or otherwise miserable ) to be outside. We do all these things, but more and more I see our niche is described by the word I so often use…. respite.
Respite. Respite, a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant. Respite, synonyms of: rest, break, breathing space, interval, intermission, interlude, recess, lull, pause, time out, hiatus, halt, stoppage, relief, relaxation, repose, breather, letup.
Homeless can be exhausting, And traumatic. Not only do many people become homeless as a result (or at least associated with) trauma, but the experience itself is traumatic. Trauma can leave us feeling exhausted. Not to mention that it is hard to get a good nights sleep outside in a tent, or huddled under the overhang of the church, or stairwell of a parking structure. For those in the night time warming shelter mats on a cafeteria floor are life saving, but rarely proved the comfort needed for a deep sleep, especially considering how closely to you others are sleeping. Being woken early and sent off to the next spot you are allowed to temporarily be. No chance for a day or two to sleep in, or that “mental health day” where you hang out in PJs and read or watch TV. While it seems so much of the world extolls the virtues of self care (which is NOT a bad thing) those things that many of us associate with simple self care (a day off, a hot bath, a late AM spent curled up in comfort with a favorite book…) are out of reach to many living without housing. Or when our houseless friends find ways to eek out a bit of this self care we judge them as lazy or assume that it is unneeded and undeserved.
I love that Peace House, Ypsi can be a place of nonjudgement where folks can find some respite from the chaos of their lives. A place where we can care for one another and we care for ourselves. A place of respite. I am reminded here of the worlds of another guests, ” I look around and see color on the wall, and yoga mats stacked in the corner. I breath in aroma therapy and fresh ground coffee. It is so great that someone understands that just because we are homeless does not mean we don’t like nice things. That just because we are homeless doesn’t mean we don’t want to have ways to care for ourselves.” Her words holding me accountable when I forget that and pushing me to do better.
As the month wrapped up we got hit with that brutal cold and we at Peace House worked alongside our MISSION partners, official agencies, and the wider community to be sure no one was outside in dangerous weather. Trips to campsites for “safety checks” and to get people inside, a “go-fund me” account set up by friends to help cover the cost of hotels for those for whom neither the shelter nor the houses of hospitality were good options. Donations flooded in both to the house and warming center. Blankets, hats, hand warmers, canned goods.
It was amazing.
It is true that it takes a community to care for a community and I was and am grateful beyond belief to be part of such a community. It truly was an example of mutual aid, solidarity and the expression of the reality that “we are all in this together”. Here are a few things that stand out…..
* Delonis Shelter lifted trespass for everyone during the coldest days. This meant that those who had previously been asked to leave for actions at the shelter were temporarily allowed back. I can’t imagine the stress this put on staff who, by all accounts, rose to the occasion in a beautiful way with grace and kindness.
* Several of the guests at the shelter gave away their own coats, sweatshirts, hats, and boots to others in the homeless community who might need it more. For example one of our guests received a brand new pair of nice snow boots from our friends at St. Mary’s. He looked around and saw another guest wearing tennis shoes and handed the new boots over. “What I really need is work boots,” he explained, “and at least I have these for the snow” (pointing down to the old, worn down snow boots on his feet.) Or the man who handed over his winter coat to another guest explaining “I have at least a couple of warm sweatshirts I can layer. “
* A go-fund me account set up by a dear friend raised around $2,500 in about 48 hours and was spent on hotel rooms for 16 individuals including 2 babies plus 2 dogs. These are folks who for their own reasons (PTSD, general anxiety, not waning to leave pets etc. ) could not access the support available to them at Delonis.
It was incredible to watch everyone rally to cover the emergencies. And now that they adrenaline has started to level out we return to our usual level of chaos! As I clean up the inevitable mess left from nights of an over abundance of guests, and wash and sort through the donations left after the Extreame cold I remain in awe of the ways in which the community stepped up. The warming center has moved to our February hosts: First Congregational and First Baptist who welcomed us with open arms and full tables. Again, reminding me that while the well of need is great the well of love and support can be equally deep.
And so I wrap up this email exhausted, but with a heart bursting with gratitude for a community I am proud to be a part of.
Thanks to all of you for all your gifts of time, talent and treasure. Thanks for loving!
With hard-nosed hope and fierce love, Sheri
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